My fingers hurt happy gilmore

Rory McIlroy will make his PGA Tour debut this week and his first career appearance at Riviera, a set-up that should bode well for his game given the premium it places on ball-striking. Also competing is world number 1, Jordan Spieth, who has good memories of Riviera dating all the way back to his college year when he led the University of Texas to the National Championship. In the match-play finale, Spieth representing Texas squared off against best friend Justin Thomas who represented the University of Alabama , with Spieth getting the best. The PGA Tour parlayed this piece of history with their early round pairings, putting Spieth and Thomas in the same group along with year-old Freddie Couples, who is making his remarkable 34th career start at Riviera.

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Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today. Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt. Nursing Home Orderly: What's that? Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?

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